69 Parents Share All The Hilariously Absurd Reasons Why Their Kids Cry
Children, quite like Karens, are notorious meltdown makers. In what seems like a fraction of second, they go from little angels bringing joy into our miserable adult world to full-on tantrum machines powered by screaming and crying, rolling on the floor, and cursing like uncle Bob.
But parents weren’t born yesterday. They either have already found a reliable antidote to such meltdowns and proven way to take back control, or they manage to simply not care and save their nerves when it occurs.
So this thread from Ask Reddit has parents sharing the most ridiculous reasons their child had a meltdown, and trust us, it doesn’t get any funnier than that. Turns out that virtually anything can be a trigger for a child's freakout, and it can just as well be cute and wholesome.
#1A full on screaming temper tantrum because he didn't want to go to McDonald's with us. It was STUPID we're not going to STUPID MCDONALDS!!! Then as soon as we finished going through the drive thru, through tears he asked for his chicken nuggets and contentedly ate his happy meal soon after. Toddlers are weird man.
Image credits: zerbey
#2Going through a drive through we asked my daughter if she wanted a breakfast sandwich. When we ordered a bacon egg and cheese biscuit she had a melt down for 30 minutes insisting she wanted a sandwich and not a biscuit.
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#3His french fries weren't long enough at McDonald's
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Meltdowns are inseparable from having kids. Our little daredevils are notorious tantrum throwers, and it’s just a question of severity and frequency with which they occur. There are countless parenting methods created to take back control of a child in meltdown, and ways to make sure it doesn’t happen.
Tantrums and meltdowns can be generated by a lot of different things: fear, frustration, anger, and sensory overload, to name a few. Moreover, a tantrum isn’t a very clear way to communicate, but they’re very powerful in getting not just parents' but every onlooker’s attention.
#4Mine was heartbroken that his gingerbread man had broken after about 6 hours of playing with it.
He also had a meltdown because he’s potty training and he had a poo in the toilet.
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#5I put the hot dog in the bun backwards. It was a literal on the floor screaming and crying meltdown.
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#6The spoon was the wrong color, then when I got the right one it was toxic since I was the one to grab it, so I put it back and then it was too far and they wanted me to get it for them, and after that they wanted the original one they threw on the floor. I picked it up and handed it to them but apparently it was toxic again so they threw it, climbed down the chair, picked it up, then went back to their yogurt and started to happily eat. Toddlers am I right?
You meant just today this morning right?
Image credits: Cognizant_Psyche
This article on the Childmind Institute argues that we should think of a tantrum as a reaction to a situation a child can’t handle in a more grown-up way. “By talking about how he feels, or making a case for what he wants, or just doing what he’s been asked to do. Instead, he is overwhelmed by emotion.”
“If unleashing his feelings in a dramatic way — crying, yelling, kicking the floor, punching the wall, or hitting a parent — serves to get him what he wants (or out of whatever he was trying to avoid), it’s a behavior that he may come to rely on.”
#7She asked me to take a bath and then cried because I put her in the bath.
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#8It was my wife's time of the month, and I asked her if she needed any feminine products as I was leaving for the store. My 2 year old son then proceeded to throw himself on the floor demanding that he wanted 'feminine prodos' as well.
Image credits: mr_patsy
#9Ohhh, man. Let's see...
*I microwaved her hot dog.
*I wouldn't give her a second olive
*I wouldn't let him jump on a trampoline in the rain
*She didn't want to be buckled into her carseat when I picked her up from daycare. She didn't want to get OUT of her carseat when we got home 2 blocks later. Then she was upset because all the candy was gone from her 6-month-old trick-or-treat bag.
*The sticker she peeled off my wife's orange apparently didn't meet expectations.
Image credits: raistliniltsiar
Challenges like meltdowns are a quintessential part of being a parent. Many people know that and are still willing to make a sacrifice for the better good and having a fulfilling life with kids. Others, however, choose a very different path, which is staying childfree.
This is, of course, not to say that people choose not to have kids because it’s difficult raising them, rather they make a decision for a complex of reasons. They may range from rising living costs, rising housing prices, widespread concerns about social media and climate change, people’s own childhood experiences, and simply not wanting children.
#10She found out dragons were not real.
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#11My son cried himself to sleep in the car one time, because he DIDNT forget his toy hammer at home.
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#12Because his brother ate his imaginary apple he was holding.
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Despite the fact that the childfree lifestyle is gaining popularity every day, it’s still viewed with a huge stigma in our society. To find out what are the reasons for so many people condemning those who opt for life without kids, Bored Panda spoke with Dr. Audrey Tang, a chartered psychologist and author of multiple books, including "Be A Great Manager Now", "The Leader's Guide to Mindfulness," and "The Leader's Guide to Resilience.” It turns out this has a lot to do with human nature and our tendency to be judgemental toward others.
“When we live in a society with others (and this is evident in the animal kingdom), we tend to understand our ‘place’ in the pack through acknowledging ourselves in comparison to others – with the goal being access to resources,” Tang argues.
#13My wife brought home pizza for dinner. It had sausage and pepperoni, my sons favorite. He freaked out and refused to eat it because the sausage was crumbled instead of in little balls
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#14He saw that scene from Spongebob where Patrick was upset because he couldn’t see his own forehead. My son saw it, realized he couldn’t see his own forehead, then had a meltdown.
Image credits: Hugh_manateerian
#15School was over. That was completely unacceptable. 4yo straight up starfishes himself on the path where the entire school had to step over/around him screaming about how he doesn’t want to go home. It made me look like the best parent in the world.
Image credits: Andiwowow
According to Tang, “in humans, we are fighting less over a perceived scarcity of food and water, but (especially in the social media world) a need for acknowledgment and validation. Further to which, building self-esteem has focused on appreciating the self… but often in comparison to others (e.g. I didn’t win… but at least I didn’t come last).” She explained that we are brought up judging others to know our position.
Moreover, Tang claims that in evolutionary terms, this is perhaps sensible. “By making it clear there is someone else (a 'weaker prey' perhaps) to focus on, we can remain ‘safe.’”
#16Us failing to believe someone else ( his brother) s**t in the pants he was wearing.
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#17My daughter got mad because I cut her sandwich into triangles instead of rectangles. She threw it at the wall, pointed at Santa, and screamed, “PUT ME ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!”
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#18I pretended to feed his hippo stuffed animal jelly beans.
Image credits: ChampagneChariot
Tang told Bored Panda that it becomes all too easy to, rather than show acceptance of difference or even learn from that other person, try to negate that of the other – it is the act of “normative idealization.” She continued explaining that normative idealization is when you think like “what I do is normal, what you do is odd (it makes our own ego feel better); or to return to my first point of looking outwards - we might alternatively just be picking on others to avoid thinking about our own problems – and something which makes them 'different' is an easy target… and sometimes it means by bringing someone down (rather than working to raise ourselves up), we feel better about ourselves – and don’t need to admit we need to do something about our own insecurities.”
#19He dropped his booger in the driveway and couldn't find it.
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#20He wanted to recreate Chernobyl for the science fair.
Image credits: permacougar
#21Him: I don't want English peas for breakfast
Me: I'm not cooking English peas for breakfast
Him: *head buried in the couch SOBBING
Having said that, Tang claims that we have evolved since that point, although perhaps our brains haven't quite, and we need to teach it healthy behaviors.
“Judging others in the context of ‘who is living life best’ is not helpful, it is far more healthy to focus your energies on living your own best life, and if others are inspired, perhaps you can tell them how you did it and what your choices were... if they don't - you just do you." She added that “in the words of Ru Paul - if they aren't paying your bills, you pay them no mind!”
#22Not a parent but when my older brother was really young he would cry for hours if his food broke.
#23At about age 2, he was trying to get out of his bed, put his hand on the wall, then put his other hand over it, and tried to remove his first hand. The weight/push force of his second hand kept his first hand pinned to the wall. He started screaming in terror, pushing back with all his might... on top of his first hand. I had to grab his second hand, then yank his first hand free.
He was inconsolable for a while.
#24He didn't want long food. No food that was a long shape whatsoever. It was an interesting phase.
#25My daughter frequently asks me what a word means (irritated, archery, hilarious, etc), then when I tell her she screams NOOO THAT'S WRONG and cries. Every time. She thinks I'm an idiot I guess. Also, why the hell are you asking me if you THINK you know what it means already smh.
#26My nephew told me that 7/11 is called that because it's open seven hours a day, eleven days a week. I told him that there aren't 11 days in the week and he lost his little mind.
Don't correct a toddler if it doesn't matter in the long run.
#27I was drinking some tea and he was upset when he found out I did that without him choosing a type of tea for me. He doesn't even drink tea. He cried and insisted I make a new pot of tea with the tea of his choice.
#28My son (toddler) got a chocolate puppy for Valentine's day from his grandmother. My wife broke the head off to limit consumption - he lost it like she decapitated a real puppy. In an attempt to make amends we used the stove burner to sadly melt it back together - It then broke in his hands. ?
#29My god daughter cried on a trip to the aquarium as there were no "fishies" in the car park. At the end of the day when she was ready to leave she said, in a matter of fact way, that she hated fishies. Can't please them. ?
#30Foreword I take these very seriously and we're working to help her even if the content makes me giggle afterwards.
Not a meltdown per se but some of the things my daughter screams when she has night terrors are less than terrifying.
"NononoNO DONT EAT MY CAAAAAKE"
"THEY CANT DO THAT THE FEATHERS ARE ON THE WRONG STATUE"
"I can't do this I can't I can't I can't I can't put on shoes I'm wearing sandals""
#31Oooo ooo oo. Not me, but my brother. Apparently, my mom found him (early 90s) sitting in the doorway between the house and the great outdoors crying hysterically because he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay in or go outside.
#32I asked if he was hungry.
#33Because she wanted to go to school, at 8 pm, at age 3, never having gone to a school ever.
#34I wouldn't buy him a combine harvester, an axe or a cow. All full sized real things. Not toys
#35His pants were too gentle. His cookie was sleeping. He said good morning to the cat and the cat didn’t say good morning back to him. The toilet was yelling at him. (He had flushed it). It was his birthday and he was excited to go see a Day Out With Thomas the Tank Engine and then we left the house to go see A Day Out With Thomas The Tank Engine.
#36Not a parent, but a daycare worker.
As soon as I saw this, my mind jumped to the moment I watched a two-year-old throw himself onto the ground, kicking and screaming, because I wouldn't let him stick peas up his nose.
#37I cut her waffle into squares instead of rectangles. RIP my Saturday morning.
#38She couldn’t see the moon (new moon. It happens). Insisted “it went to New York city” and sobbed.
#39I flipped out because my mom used the Native American word for corn, “maïs,” because she is Dutch and they call it that over there. I remember freaking the f**k out because I didn’t want to eat poor baby “mice.” I ran upstairs in a blind panic.
For a few years afterwards I’d sometimes grab handfuls of dried corn from the kitchen to “save” them and I made beds out of cotton balls for the individual pieces of corn lol.
#40I have two.
His brother looked at him.
His brother didn't look at him.
#41For several years, my son would flip out if we forced him to wear pants instead of shorts. Doesn’t matter if it was 15 degrees outside.
#42When I was little, about four years old, I was very upset that my mom was pregnant with my little brother. So much so, that at one night as she tucked me in, I looked her dead in the eyes and said "I'll miss you so much when the new baby gets here and I have to run away." I then proceeded to have a hysterical meltdown. This was a few days after I had to be picked up from my grandparents' house one night because they had a kid's stool with the Three Bears on it and it made me bawl because that wouldn't be like my family any more.
Almost twenty years later, my brother and I have a good relationship, but it definitely took some convincing to get there.
#43My son at the time was mainlining string cheese in hopes of not turning him into string cheese he was cut off for like a day. So picked him up from daycare walk into the house not a single word said he went running through the house and dropped down crying his head off. I asked what’s wrong he said “I want cheese!” I told him “no, you can have anything other than cheese.” Well I thought he was in a full on meltdown, I was wrong, he ran across the house dropped like he was shot complete and utter meltdown, I decided this is so ridiculous, I better film this so I started recording. He looked up to see if it was working, I was stone faced, back to meltdown. Then I asked what’s wrong? He promptly stood up not a single tear falling and questioningly said “cheese?”
It became a thing when someone is losing their s**t, to ask “cheese?”
#44I've got two kids. While driving, a bird pooped on our car window on one side of the car. The kid farthest from that side of the car looked at it, and the other one started yelling "You can't look at the bird poop! It's on my side of the car so it's MY bird poop!" and then a big fight broke out.
#45Full on meltdown last week because I wouldn’t let him take a nap with a bowl of chicken nuggets. He’s only two and I know shits about to get wilder than that.
#46I was the kid in this situation but my grandpa had bought me a shirt and I didn't like it. I was like 6 at the time and was always trying to be kind as possible. I thought not liking the shirt was rude because he had basically wasted 10 bucks on something that I would never wear. I started bawling.
#47Ok I'm not a parent but I was looking after my baby cousin and we were sat on the sofa watching a movie and he cried because he couldn't hug the cat on the screen
#48My daughter (5) hates to buy toys in the toystore. I suggested going to the toystore, her response: “that is the worst place you could ever ask me to go!”
#49One day my son got extremely upset because his French fry was too long, so I broke it in half. The French fry was then, too short. Absolute meltdown.
#50When my daughter was 4ish, I got my flu shot at Target. She was too young to get her flu shot at Target. After I got mine, she cried because she didn't get one. She's terrified of shots.
#51I remember once my little brother was super mad he wasn't given two of some kind of treat. So my mom took it from him, broke it in half, and gave him the two pieces. Just like that he was happy
#52I had a meltdown because my mum told be I can't eat bees.
#53When i about 7 i remember having a craving for bushes baked beans. I asked my parents what kinda bean they were, and they said “probably pinto beans.”
Then i spent the next couple of days begging my parents for pinto beans for dinner, and they obliged.
My dad serving me up a nice plate of straight up pinto beans and rice, knew exactly what my reaction was going to be, and that that was going to be dinner.
#54Because he didn't want the sandwich he asked me to make.
#55“STOP LOOKING AT ME”
nobody was looking at her
#56A few years ago my wife asked her daughter to write the number 5. She was 5 years old at the time. She lost her damn mind.
She's now almost 8, the other night at family game night she lost her s**t because she got a question wrong in trivial pursuit family edition (it has separate cards for adults and kids).
#57My brother 'ran away from home' because he didn't get the cinnamon roll he wanted.
#58When my daughter was about 7, she was standing in front of the gate to the bedrooms (we have little dogs) and she had books in her hand and started bawling to the point of hyperventilating. Once I finally calmed her down enough to ask what was wrong, she said, I couldn’t open the gate!!! I had trouble not laughing at the absurdity of it, but even she laughed when I asked if she thought about putting the books down.
#59When I was a child, I think that the time I didn't want to go to New Hampshire because I didn't know what language they spoke is up there in ridiculousness.
I wouldn't tell them why I was melting down because I was afraid I was wrong to be scared, so in the moment it was a mystery to my parents and later that day they realized I had a fever and blamed it on that. And they were probably right to do so.
#60My 3 year old Son will often construct logical dilemmas and end up having a meltdown.
Example; He tore something open, then decides he wants me to do it. He's already opened it by tearing it open. ? "Dada you do it"
"I can't do it Baba, it's already open."
Lips start to wobble and eyes look sad.
"No, Dada you do it, please"
"Baba, I can't open something that is already open"
And so the crying starts, then grows, then continues, then he has a meltdown.
I've approached it from every angle I can think of. He doesn't just do it with me either. Sometimes it's possible to offer a hug and he'll stop, but at least 70% of the time he will go fully fledged hulk style and end up being put on his bed until he stops. Taking toys away hasn't helped. Being nice doesn't work. Bribing him with chocolate would work but it's not good to reward the behavior. I've tried pretending to wrap it up and reopen it - doesn't work. I'm quite logical myself, so I've even tried explaining the logic to him. "Something cannot both be and not be at the same time, Son (except Shrodinger's Cat)". I think his problem is his intelligence far out classes his ability to communicate. And he communicates well with a large vocabulary. He just has an idea in his head and can't construct the sentence to express it.
I'd say his record is about an hour or so of straight up Olympic fit throwing over a logical dilemma that he himself created. ?♂️
#61Kiddo didn’t win the “pee race” with my husband, so he had a meltdown for an hour.
#62Because the dog in Airbud climbed out the window to get the newspaper. The dog isn't allowed to do that, he should stay in the house. We didn't even get to the sad part of the movie because of major meltdowns over minor things like that.
#63Taking the blanket off his lap...after he asked me to.
#64During a meltdown related to not wanting to change her diaper. (New development). I picked up my 2 year old. She didn't want me holding her. Went bonkers when I went to put her down.
Basically wanted to be held with no hands.... good times
#65Me and 5yo on the way to the bowling alley, mom 2 cars behind us. We pull in and park “why didn’t we beat mommy here, how did she beat us” meanwhile mom is parking beside us while we’re already parked. She then proceeds to start crying and screaming because we didn’t get to the parking lot first even though we were parked and out of the car when her mom pulled up.
#66To encourage her to come out with me whilst I walked the dog I suggested we might see a Gruffalo. She cried her eyes out when we got home as we hadn’t seen one!
#67He asked for chocolate. We said yes..
Glad to read the other answers, I don't feel alone. Children are weird...