“What Is Your Tinder Horror Story?” (90 Answers)
Every Tinder date is a gamble. Sure, you can improve your odds, try to get an idea of what your match is like before you agree to meet them, but when you grab a cup of coffee with a complete stranger, you're always operating with limited information. That's just part of the game.
The good thing is that most of the time you won't take any damage even if there is no chemistry between the two of you. A few awkward talks and that's all. Quick and painless. But every now and again, you might run into a situation that will make you want to uninstall the app. Heck, some can be so bad, you might actually do it.
At times like these, it's really nice to know that you're not alone. That other people go through disastrous and disappointing dates too. And they do. For example, when Reddit user u/me_llamo_greg asked other platform users, "What is your Tinder horror story?", their post received over 14,000 comments—many of which detail some crazy crap. Here are some of them.
#1
I went on a date with a guy and the entire time he was talking about how men are superior and how there have been scientific studies to show that "women have an emotional reaction to the color red when they see it". I wonder why he was single..
Image credits: ilovedawgs
#2
I don't use tinder. However, my roommate loves it, and she's brought back numerous visitors. Which is fine, except for the fact that the apartment is tiny and we share a room. And also the fact that my roommate doesn't really care what I end up seeing. And, as it turns out, most guys don't care about having another girl in the room either--some take it as an opportunity for a for a threesome.My roommate is my tinder nightmare.
Image credits: anonymous
#3
This girl (we'd been chatting for like a week or so,) hit me up around 10 pm on a Sunday night and said she'd be in my neck of the woods on her way home and wanted to see if i wanted to hang out. I did. So she comes over, and she's got a bag of Mexican food with her. So i put on an episode of Always sunny, and she busts out a monster bean and cheese burrito and a carne asada quesadilla. She asked if i wanted any, but i had already eaten. So this (skinny, mind you) girl puts down BOTH OF THESE THINGS in like 10 minutes. Just destroyed like 2 pounds of food. She wipes her face off, grabs my hand, rubs her t*ts with my hands, and gets up and goes, "welp, i gotta go, you can tell your friends you at least got something out of it."Never to be seen again. I'm still in love with her.
Image credits: StrungoutScott
#4
Went on a date with a girl who had already told her whole family about me, before we even met. And she wanted me to meet them in person on the first date.Nope.
Image credits: WolfofPortland
#5
My buddy isn't the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, "I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?" He says, "yeah that's fine," and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.
Image credits: pointynipples69
#6
I dated someone I met from tinder for a month. Seemed good on paper: masters student, yoga teacher, cultured, etc.Found out she was doing heroin and didn't consider that a big problem. I actually had to explain to her the definition of a high functioning addict because she felt that having a job and going to school meant the heroin thing wasn't a problem. We broke up and she went back to her junky ex-bf.
Bullet dodged.
Image credits: PM_ME_A_SULTRY_LOOK
#7
A little back story: A few years ago I was dating this girl and her father REALLY hated me. Which was a bit odd as most parents love me (or at least lie about it real well). He was just a huge prick and I always called him on his s**t. Anyways, her parents got divorced, we broke up a few months later etc etc.Fast forward to around a year later. Me and girl from Tinder were dating for a few months and things were starting to get serious. We're at the point where she wants me to meet her family. Mother, step father, little sister. Why not? I have no problems meeting them, lets do it i said. She told me how excited her step dad was to meet me as it turns out we both happen to be Kansas City Chiefs fans.
Well, f**k me if it wasn't the same a-hole father of my ex girlfriend...
Image credits: therealJayT
#8
Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: "there's a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?"I told him I wouldn't. He says he's decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to liquor store, picked up wine and went home.
He texted me for a month or so after to tell me he's just bought tickets to see me dance (I'm a retired ballerina, haven't been in anything for a few years). Then he texts me an hour after and tells me how great I was on stage. I never responded.
Dating is too confusing. I'm all done.
Image credits: buttermuseum
#9
I met this guy on tinder and we had a couple really fun dates. I was pretty into him, so on our third date, I decided I wanted to have sex with him. He took me out for a really nice date and then he invited me back to his place for a glass of wine. One thing led to another and we started making out on his couch, fully clothed. But this lasted FOREVER. I was ready to go, if you know what I mean... I didn't want to make out the whole night. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and I took off all of my clothes. Then he sits up, still fully clothed, and looks at me, and says, "I can't have sex with you, I have a STD." Possibly most awkward moment of my life. I tried to be super nice about it, but I promptly got dressed and left. (And as many of my friends have pointed out, I am extremely grateful that he told me).
Image credits: businesskat22
#10
I met my Tinder girl at the train station and she wasn’t the most talkative of sorts, but I maintained conversation all the way up to the bar we’d agreed on earlier. Only when we got there, she refused to go in, saying she didn’t like “the look of it”. We carried on down the road with me maintaining most of the conversation, and we passed nine more bars that she didn’t like the look of too. By now we were walking in near silence, so I steered our walk back towards the train station, ready to call it a day and head home. But suddenly, my Tinder lady stopped and pointed at something, saying “That’s what I want, I want to go there”. It was a van selling frozen yoghurt. I no longer like froyo.
Image credits: mossow
#11
We talked for a couple of hours, drank some wine, watched a movie and we had sex. Then things went a little downhill... We layed in bed and suddenly it looked like she was about to black out so I helped her sit right up and asked if I could help her, get her some water and stuff. But she didn't speak a word. She just sat there with her her hands in her hair for a couple of minutes and then puked all over my sheets. At this point I wanted to get her to the shower asap but she was just stunned or something. I didn't know what to do. After a couple minutes I finally convinced her to get up and brought her to the shower so she could clean herself while I could clean the sheets and all that. Every 5 min I checked on her if she was okay but she would just sit on the floor with the shower running and wouldn't talk. It was all very awkward. After 20 min or so I brought her a towel and some clothes and we sat on the edge of my bed and she told me that she was born without a womb. She cried, i calmed her down and we finally went to sleep (without a blanket or sheets, i didn't have spare ones in my studentapartment) the next day i made breakfast and she went home. Weirdest "date" I ever had.
Image credits: mossow
#12
Someone [f] matched me [m] while I was at work. By the time I got home I had 4 messages from her.Are you always wearing a hat?
Does it not get really manky?
Seriously, do you even have hair?
Oh s**t, you don't have cancer do you?
FYI, I don't have cancer and hadn't realised that I was wearing a hat in all my pictures.
Image credits: TheQuantumiser
#13
Matched with my cousin.
Image credits: DonsMagic
#14
This was back when tinder first came out and wasn't quite as known as a hookup app. We met and had a great first date. Second date was even better. Things kept going for about 2 months when she told me she went out with me originally in an attempt for a Dinner with Schmucks type thing where her and all her friends would bring the worst Tinder date. We both really liked each other, but I couldn't get over how we started.
Image credits: whywontyouwork
#15
I have been on three tinder dates, with three seperate girls, and they have all been the same horror story.For some reason, the god of tinder has decided for me that whenever I'm on a tinder date with a girl, we will run into her parents at some point during the date. 3/3 times this happened. 3/3 times it was horribly awkward for everyone involved.
#16
Met girl, she was quite vocal about "no hookups." We went out, got drunk, she [invited me back to her place]... Just as we started [to hook up] she said "oh I love you, I love you, do you love me too?" I didn't reply...It was a good night, but then she got really demanding and argumentative. It takes me a while to get used to starting to see someone, I like to get to know them a bit. She was talking about kids within a day of meeting me and I wasn't quite ready for that conversation... Then she got really sh*tty that I wasn't as committed as her, called me all sorts of names and said that I shouldn't be on Tinder if I wasn't going to take our relationship seriously.
It was a whirlwind... It felt like a year's worth of emotion bundled into about 3 days.
Image credits: grimeylimey
#17
I met up with this guy I had been talking to a few weeks. Tall dark and handsome, originally from Turkey, world traveler, etc. Anyway, we meet up for sushi and things are going great, tons of stuff in common and then it was like a f***ing PSYCHO switch flipped. He started talking about how now that we were going out, I couldn't wear nail polish because he got weirded out holding hands with someone who wore nail polish and how he wanted to have a daughter but freeze her in time at the age of 4 so that she'd always be a Daddys girl and love him forever and how when we got old we'd have to have sex with the lights off since I'd be wrinkly and unattractive and just went on and on. I literally just stared at him speechless and tried to get through the date expecting, at the very least, a free meal. But noooooo, no free meal. In fact, more expensive meal. This guy had the nerve to ask the waitress to split the check when he ordered twice what I had! We paid, I stormed out, and never talked to him again.#18
I messaged a cute blonde girl one day, got a response, and after a while of back and forth making each other laugh and getting along, I mention I'm in a wheelchair, and suddenly she was losing her mind talking about our future and how she wants to explore places like Australia and I wouldn't be able to do that with her because of my wheelchair.I let her go on for a while to see if she'd ever bring it around to a normal person thought process but it never happened. She lost her mind.
#19
Long-ass story: About eight months ago, Tinder date. She suggests brunch at Max's Wine Dive on McKinney. (We're in Dallas.) I pick her up at the Arpeggio apartments in Victory Park. She's not ready, so she buzzes me in. Her apartment is beautiful, lots of high-dollar stuff, no roommate.We go to Max's at 1pm. She drinks an entire bottle of champagne by herself. We leave, and in the car she says she wants to stop by a shop in West Village. I park in the parking garage and get out. I look for her and don't see her. I hear a noise, so I look around my car and she's squatting next to the wall peeing on the ground.
We go into the shop. She takes a few dresses into the changing room and tells me to come over. I stand outside the changing room and she pulls me inside. She completely undresses, gets in the clothes, asks me what I think, undresses, gets in more clothes, etc.
She takes about $1,500 worth of clothes to the counter and tells the cashier she really has to pee. Cashier says sorry. My date begs, so cashier relents and takes her into the back, but it's too late. The damage is done. She also buys a new pair of pants.
On the way back to her apartment, she answers a call and starts talking in a foreign language that I can't place. Couldn't even guess the continent. She's very nervous and upset. She hangs up and tells me she has to go to her other apartment at the Cirque, also in Victory Park. She asks me to go in with her. We go into her apartment which is also completely beautiful and belongs only to her. She has a badass telescope that I start playing with. In the mirror, I see her open a safe and put something in her purse. She tells me we need to leave and asks me to take her to my house.
We go to my house and she instantly passes out. Stays passed out for about 6 hours. Wakes up, wants Dairy Queen. It's closed and she starts crying. I take her to Sonic. She gets a cheeseburger, a chili dog, cheese fries, and a sundae. We come home, she eats it and throws up. Passes out on my couch. I read and go to sleep.
Next morning she asks if she can stay and watch football. I tell her I have plans and need to take her home. She says she can't go to either of her apartments. I tell her too bad, I have plans, and drop her off at Cirque. She texted asking when we could see each other again but I never responded.
#20
Not mine, but my brothers. He lives at home with my mother still.So my brother met a chick on tinder. Took her on a date, ended up bringing her home for night and then that was that. A few weeks later my mother went to the backyard and noticed the door to her camper was open. There was a bunch of clothes and a pair of faux uggs boots that belonged to this chick. Turns out she had been sneaking into the camper at night and sleeping there and doing drugs. My brother had no idea of this, and my mom called the cops immediately and it turns out the chick had a warrant out for her arrest. She's still in jail.
#21
Finally. Started seeing a girl off tinder. It was going well for about two weeks and thought she was pretty cool. Then things started getting weird. She used to always joke about killing me. I thought it was okay the first few times but then it got annoying. I told her to stop and she kept doing it. Idk if it was because she thought it was funny that it freaked me out or what. Anyways told me she has a shotgun in her room. Yikes. Long story short I told her I didn't want to see her anymore. She didn't like that. For the next three weeks she's absolutely hounding me. Calls me constantly, shows up at my work asking for me, keeps coming over to my apartment. She actually knocked on my door for 30 minutes. When I didn't answer she went around back and started knocking on my bedroom window. Got really concerned for awhile but eventually she gave up#22
It was our second date, I was pretty into her and the first date was really good so I was expecting a great night.She suggested we go to a favourite bar of hers, have a few drinks and chill out. When we get there, we discover a load of her friends sitting around in a group. She introduces me and sheepishly mentions we met on Tinder. This gains me a few weird looks. One guy (who happened to look quite like me) reacts a little more obviously to the rest.
My date introduces her friends and goes off to get drinks, leaving me to the groups collective judging stare. The dude who looks like me says "What was your name again"? After I say it, the group turn to mutter to each other. He smiles wryly and asks "What about your full name?". When I tell him, the group erupts in laughter.
Turns out the guy who looked like me was in fact her ex....who also happened to have the same first and last name as me. Made for some incredibly awkward conversation.
#23
I had been on a couple of dates with this girl that I met on tinder, and learned that she was really into the rockabilly scene. I found out that a local nightclub was hosting a rockabilly themed night and so I took her. She had dressed to the nines and we were having a great time in the club. Suddenly this guy accidentally tipped a drink on her 50's style dress. The guy apologised profusely. She storms over to grab her coat and bag and on the way out she just punches the guy in the face. Everyone in the club was shocked. I took her outside and told her she couldn't react like that and that's when she took her heel off and hit me square in the face for "siding with the guy." Blood everywhere. I never answered her calls after that.Oh, and she used to be a stripper and camgirl. This adds nothing to the story but I just like telling people. Pew pew.
#24
I’m slightly on the large side, and I don’t try to hide it. So I was talking to a nice guy on Tinder and we hit it off straight away. We met up at a bar, he saw me and the first words he said to me were, ‘Oh, I didn’t know you were fat.’ So I turned around and walked out.#25
Not Tinder, but OKCupid. Went out for drinks with a guy who was a few years older than me (he was 27, I was 21 at the time). He starts telling me he's a lawyer, which is great, but I quickly realize we have virtually nothing in common. But I decided to ride it out, as he seemed friendly enough. I asked him if there was a particular reason he was on OKCupid, which I felt was a pretty normal question, right? But he looks at me like I'm a goddamn retard and says "Uh. To sleep with women."So I go, "Really?" "Well, yeah." "What, you can't do that without the internet?" And he says, "Well, looking around the bar right now, I see like, six girls I want to sleep with. (He pointedly did not look at me during this.) But it's not like I can just go up to each of them right now. So, you know. It makes it easier."
At this point I was just laughing internally at this guy's misguided attempt to come off as a lady-killer. I couldn't tell if he was socially awkward or incredibly rude -- if he had said half-jokingly "Well, to meet girls, haha", I would have laughed at his cockiness. But the way he said it just came off weird and d*ckish.
So I ordered a .5L of the strongest and most expensive beer they had, let him pay for it, gave him a slow kiss to let him know what he was missing, and peaced out.
#26
I think my only truly awful Tinder date was with this woman who I started chatting with who was attractive, only a little older than me (24, at the time I was 21), and seemed very intelligent. We had a nice date and went back to her place and I was thinking "Holy s**t yes, this is it, finally going to get that V-card punched" and we sat down and started talking and then she told me she wanted to have sex with me so that she could get pregnant. After my initial response (stunned silence, like literally, what the f**k?) she started trying to persuade me by talking about how "cute he would look" and how emotionally stable she was in her life (right, because looking for strangers on the internet to impregnate you is clearly the mark of emotional stability). Then she started trying to seduce me and when I told her I was going to leave she became aggressive, at one point grabbing my arm (this woman was taller than me by several inches, at that point I gained a new appreciation for women who are sexually harassed) as I was trying to reach the door.I debated calling the police after I managed to get out, but decided against it and instead just thanked my lucky stars that I didn't give her my phone number and that I was able to escape from the possibility of being forced into being a parent for the spawn of a clearly disturbed woman.
The whole incident made me seriously wish Tinder had a way to report users as "Legit psycho crazy please call the cops".
#27
My first Tinder experience: I was out drinking with friends, and the girl I'd be chatting with decides to take a cab to me. I get in her cab, go to her place, we bang, and I'm back drinking with my friends within 45 minutes. The story told that way is pretty good! However, this was by far the worst sex experience of my life. During sex she kept yelling "complete me", while at the same time trying to sneak fingers into my butt. We finished up, and I got the hell out of there.#28
Happened a year ago. Met this guy. Similar interests, looked great in his pictures. We decided to meet up on a Sunday for lunch. I was so hungover from a friend's Christmas party that I threw up upon arrival. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't order a drink and I couldn't order one due to the hangover. Once the hangover subsided, I suggested we walk around and head into a bar. He doesn't like the first bar, had a "bad experience" at the next bar, and keeps on passing on them. Until we finally get to his favorite bar. He orders drinks, and after a few more drinks I suggest heading to a wine bar. He passes, because he confesses that he's only 20. And while his profile said he worked at a local college, it was a work study position, because he is a junior there. Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was the exhaustion, but I still brought him home. Things occurred, and I found out he was a virgin. He ran away in tears and threw up on my apartment stairs. Repeated the process once he was 21, and it was almost the same situation. Never again.#29
I'm a little late to the party but my first Tinder date has been my most eventful date ever.So I matched this absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl, way out of my league, and we arrange to meet in the city for a few drinks on a Friday evening. We meet in this little bar and share a drink, the conversation is a lot of small talk to begin with but it's flowing well. Anyway we're there for about 30 minutes when she says she hasn't eaten anything yet and asks if I wanna grab a bite to eat. I do, so we finish our drinks and start moving outside to find some food.
As we're walking along the sidewalk I see this guy in front of me staring me down. Like he is proper shooting daggers at me and making me super uncomfortable. I try to ignore him, look at the ground, look at the girl, whatever... we move to pass him and he spins around on his heel and SLAMS me into a wall. He has is forearm pressed up against my neck and is pushing so hard my feet are starting to lift off the ground. I try and pull his arm away from my throat, unsuccessfully, and my vision is starting to go black.
I thought I was done for here.
In a last-ditch effort to not be strangled to death, I used the wall as a board to push my knee up into him as hard as I can. I hit him square in the groin and he relinquishes his grip... my vision starts to return, although it's giving me a splitting headache. I splutter and try and get my breath back a bit while i watch this guy curl over, red in the face with veins popping out of his forehead. He stumbles over to the street and throws up all through the gutter. I turn to the girl who's just watching all of this like a roo in headlights.
Turns out, the guy was her ex-boyfriend who heard about our date through a mutual friend of theirs. I manage to wheeze out enough to ask her if she'd like to get another drink with me, as I could really use one. She declines and says she's just going to get a ride home, and practically sprints away from whatever the hell this situation was.
I ended up leaving this other guy puking in the street and stayed out for a few hours by myself. Had a really good night in the end, met a bunch of new people and a pretty fun story (in hindsight).
#30
Hooked up from Tinder. After having sex, the girl whispers in my ear, "So, my mom just died."Never saw her again.
#31
Probably not as bad as some of the others I read on here, but I thought I was really hitting it off with a guy I met on Tinder - until a few dates later, when he broke down crying in the middle of a heated makeout session telling me he thought he might be gay..
Image credits: anonymous
#32
On my first (and only) 30-second Tinder date, she walked out of the subway, looked at me, said "Sorry, I don't like you" and left.Real life swipe left.
#33
Went on a date with a girl who told me about 3 of her ex-boyfriends (of the past 2 years) in the first 15 minutes of our date. One committed s**cide, one died in a car accident, and the last "had to be gay because... who would dump this." Every time she went to the bathroom she would leave her "expensive purse" and asked me not to leave, because if I left and someone stole her purse it would be on my conscience. She also picked a restaurant that her ex-boyfriend (previous of the other 3) was a chef at and said the Lamborghini parked outside was his.#34
So I've been to quite a few tinder dates, mostly ranges from boring to totally fun, all are standard except one. This one I have only spoken to her a day before, not much of conversation either. So the next day, as we both happen to be free and in the city, decided to meet up and have dinner. As I met her, lets say she looks nothing like her picture, a whole different color tone all together, she was really tanned unlike her fair tone in the pictures, lotsa lighting and filter i presume, no big deal. We picked a restaurant, ordered and I payed for the meal. During dinner conversation, found out she faked her age in her profile, shes actually 33 instead of 27, and I am 25 (Should be red flag there). Nearing the end of the date, she started talking about her money problem, how she only has 5 dollar on her and how her boss is gypping her, meaning she expected me to pay and that I was a free meal. Even worse, she asked if I can buy her shampoo and that she'll pay me back tomorrow. Just as a charity case, since she is that desperate, I'm like yeah why not. Went to the supermarket, she grabbed toothpaste, big size body wash, shampoo and conditioner. She came back to me smiling, as I was in awe of what just happened and still processing the whole damn thing. She then said she forgot to get lotion. As soon as she went on the other aisle, I literally legged it, ran away, and unmatch her straight away.And the cherry on top, she has braces and obviously fake tits but she cannot afford basic necessities...
#35
My first ever online date showed up in a white suit and a white fedora. Later asked me if my menstrual cycle lined up with the moon.He ended up talking the entire date and, me being too polite to do anything about it, let this go on for 2-3 hours. Told me at the end of the date that he'd never had that kind of connection with anyone before.
Good times.
#36
I'm probably too late but here it goes, sorry for the wall of text;My first and only Tinder date- I started talking to a cute guy, we hit it off really well. We'll call him Greg. Greg lived in a town nearly an hour away so we texted for about two weeks before we decided to meet due to schedules. During this time Greg consistently attempted to wow with his food knowledge (I work in the fine dining restaurant industry) often telling me about what meal he was cooking for him and his roommates each night. After several days of talking he then asks me to come to his house so he would be able to cook for me. I oblige figuring what's the worst that could happen I've talked to him several times and felt okay about the whole situation. The day comes and we meet somewhere neutral and I follow him to his house, all the while him explaining how excited he is to cook for me.
We arrive at his place everything is going really great, he's exactly as I pictured him and his personality fits me perfect. Dinner time rolls around and he tells me he needs to go downstairs to begin prep. I become eager and say Id love to help, he insists I stay on the couch and relax. We continue to talk across rooms and I can't see what's going on in the kitchen. He puts something in the oven and says it will be ready in just a bit and that he made extra in case I was hungry.
Fifteen minutes late Greg leaps off the couch to a timer and runs to the kitchen. He brings sauces first saying the they are the best part; he lays ketchup, ranch and BBQ sauce on the table. I begin to get confused wondering what he made as he refused to tell me announcing that he wanted to keep it a secret. Greg returns to the kitchen to retrieve the plates, he walks in and carries a turkey platter to the table. I gaze into what had to be no less than three bags of frozen fries he had displayed on a turkey platter for our dinner. He looks at me eagerly awaiting my reaction for me to lose it, I begin uncontrollably laughing and his smile drops as I say this is great thank you, assuming this was a gag meal and he had prepared dinner to follow. No Greg invited me to dinner to cook me his specialty, Frozen French Fries.
They were delicious fries... And the sauce was the best part.
Image credits: potato_masher
#37
The only Tinder date I went on, the woman told me her goal was to get pregnant in the next few months. I noped right out of there.
Image credits: rearwindows
#38
Buddy of mine hit it off with this girl and after a few days, she invited him over to a house party. "Sure" he says, what could go wrong? He shows up and is introduced to a few of her friends, all guys. As the night carries on, more and more guys show up and very few girls are actually at the party. After they start talking about how they all know this girl they find out that she invited them all from Tinder. Every guy was there not to hook up, but to populate this chick's birthday party.
Image credits: AJTTOTD
#39
En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting, to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. I repeat: SALAD. At a burrito place. Also, was this the past? Was I now incapable of placing my own food order? Anyway… After arriving – with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos – he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their ‘breakup sex’ had been…last weekend. The final straw was – even after telling him I wasn’t a big fan of smoking – he literally asked a stranger for cigarettes and then chain smoked them beside me.
Image credits: HarveyGonzales
#40
I had been talking to this girl on Tinder for a while and we decide we wanted to smash. The problem is I had asked my roommate if I could have the room later. (Apparently, unlike the rest of the animals you people seem to have as roommates.) So when I went to sign this girl in, we have a proctor in the lobby at my universities dorms, my roommate and several other friends of mine placed a Bluetooth speaker in my room and hid in the hallway, waiting for me to get back. I didn't see them and things started to get hot and heavy when, "Let's Get It On" started playing from somewhere in the room. I started searching and after 5 minutes,while the song "I just had sex" was finishing playing, I found the Bluetooth speaker under my roommates bed behind his dresser. Yes I had to move both of them. I found the power button but not before the wonderful sound of hardcore pornography filled the room. The two of us decided to call it so we threw on some clothes I walked her past all six of the basterds.... I never saw her again.
Image credits: Comic-Derpinator
#41
I started talking to this really sweet guy for about two weeks and things were going well. Then I started getting calls from this girl, who he claimed was his crazy roommate that was in love with him and kept trying to get him fired from jobs. Turns out, she wasn’t the one lying, she was actually his live-in girlfriend, and they had moved here together from a different state. Apparently he wasn’t actually a citizen, and was trying to obtain papers. Thanks, Tinder.
Image credits: RobertBorrelli
#42
I was living in a new area for the summer and had just gotten out of a long term relationship; aka recipe for concentrated spree of random tinder hookups. One date in particular went completely awry and made me question whether or not agreeing to meet someone based on them maybe being cute from 3 pictures was a solid choice. I matched with this girl, 28, sexy, with all selfies of her with variations of duck lips. We messaged for a couple days, things seemed normal. As soon as we exchanged numbers, she started texting me "hey" followed up 5 minutes later with "why aren't you texting me back" pretty regularly. My genius self decided to ignore this red flag and invite her to come out for a drink. Within the first 20 minutes of talking to her, I learn about her 2 kids, life as an ecstasy dealer, and her abusive ex husband who is stalking her. Deciding maybe a change of scenery will help me overcome my better judgement, I tell her we should take the shuttle back to my apartment complex. While we're on the bus, she gets quiet and all the sudden spits up in her hand a little bit. I'm like ok, this is bad but not terrible. Then the demon is awakened and she full on yaks all over the floor of this shuttle. A little bit got on my shoe. The driver asks what happened, at which point my lovely date tells the driver that the girl in front of us puked all over the ground. Next thing I know, I'm breaking up a fist fight between tinder girl and the justifiably pissed off girl in front of us who had to defend her honor to this poor driver. I ended up paying 100$ for the cleaning of the bus, and seriously questioning my choices#43
Tinder date with a "famous" chef where I was taken to a dive bar, where he promptly starting talking about how famous he was. We drank and watched sports, he proceeded to tell me "You're cute" and this eventually went to "I am going to make you bleed." He then invited one of his friends to come along. I went outside and he came up to kiss me. I was drunk, so I kissed back. Eventually he proceeded to tell me how he was "being charged with battering his ex-girlfriend, but he totally didn't do it."Eventually when it came time to pay the bill, "he lost his wallet." Of course, I get stuck with it. "I'll pay you back.". (Needless to say I never got a payment).
Then he leaned up against me. I thought he was trying to kiss me again, but I looked down, and he was peeing on me. In the street. Peeing. On. Me.
I swiftly, being too inebriated to drive, went and got myself a hotel room and a hot shower.
Never again.
Image credits: Baconbaconbaconbits
#44
Met a girl at her work at like, a moment's notice (She was a waitress and there was literally nobody else in the entire place). We talked for a few hours, then another dude shows up... To meet her. From tinder.She would later blog about the experience and describe me as "dull and unattractive".
She apologized to me the day she posted it. No hard feelings, I just thought it was a crazy story.
Image credits: kryptx
#45
I needed a date to passover dinner with my friends. He wore a vest and a news boy hat, then introduced himself with a bow and a hat flourish. The night only got worse from there. He refused to eat any of the food because "things on the plate were touching" (It was f*****g soup) and wouldn't shut his mouth during the 12 minutes of seder. When it came time for his train home he purposely missed it so he could stay the night. HAHA NOPE. After a movie with uncomfortable levels of hoverboob, I convinced my friend to come with me to drive him to the nearest train station. During the ride he thought was the best time to tell me he was schizophrenic but didn't take medicine because "it was the devil". He tried to hold my hand saying that they were small and made him feel like a pedophile.The night ended with him telling me he was going to s**t on the subway and write my name in it.
There was no second date.
Image credits: Saramanders
#46
Talked to a girl a few times. Set up a date. She calls me a couple hours before we're going to meet, saying she's busy doing something. Bulls**t excuse; she cancels.At about 11pm I get a text message that just says: "Can you come over?" or something similar. Being a mix of lonely and bored, I said what the hell, closed my self-sympathy pizza box and hopped in my car.
Halfway through the drive, I get another text that says "Can you get me some food?" Sure. She wants a 20-piece Chicken McNugget with extra bbq sauce. Very specific. Super weird, but fine, munchies.
Show up and she seems maybe drunk or something, so I give her the food and she insists I stay and we watch tv. She's watching the movie Powder. If you haven't seen the movie, it's super not date friendly. We make small talk, I have a beer. I'm not gonna push anything because obviously the girls got something going on, so I'm ready to bow out.
The movie ends. She stands up and very bluntly says "I'm going to bed. I don't know if I'm going to f*** you or not, but you can stay if you want."
She was cute and I was eager, so why not see what happens? I hop in bed while she's in the bathroom. She comes into her bedroom, climbs on top of me, her hands on either side of my head. She leans in, I think she's going to start kissing my neck, and then I hear her start snoring. Very loudly. I'm dumbfounded.
I lie there for a moment thinking about what I should do. This is interrupted by her ripping the hugest fart.
Goodnight.
Image credits: tido14
#47
Tinder guy was apparently engaged when we met and while we were "dating." Also found out 2 weeks after the fact, that he got married. We had still been talking everyday.
Image credits: sleepslate
#48
My Tinder horror story is also someone else's Tinder horror story.So I downloaded Tinder this fall for fun. Now, I'm a good looking guy, easily 8,5/10. Within about a month of swiping, I had 100 matches but I had only messaged about 1/3rd of them and hadn't gone on any dates yet. I was hanging out with my best friend and her cousin that I had never met before that day. We were laughing at r/tinder posts and later the profiles of some girls I hadn't swiped yet. Then, suddenly. Cousin: "Swipe right" Me: "What?" Cousin "That's my girlfriend. Swipe right."
So I swiped right. Matched immediately. He sent a Snapchat of the match screen to her. They broke up within the hour.
And that was the day I deleted Tinder.
Image credits: WeWillFreezeHell
#49
There was this guy, he was a solid 10 in his pictures. He messages me, asks me if I want to meet up for coffee, so I say yes. He messages me and tells me that I have to pick him up... Okay whatever, I'll do it. I pick him up, and we decided to go eat instead, he's super funny and cute so we hangout some more after dinner. Then he pulls out his phone and proceeds to tell me that he has a son and his baby momma took of to Washington (but has no idea what part or anything) with him and he hasn't seen him in months. So he then takes out his phone and tells me to go through a folder on his phone of pictures of his son. Like 300 of them. He sat there and made me look through every single one, and he would tell me the back story to basically every single video and photo in that folder. I felt so bad, but man I was happy when he left. That whole date just got so weird after that, he did some more stuff but those are good stories for another time lol
Image credits: Savannahsusername
#50
I am a girl who likes girls. Most girls who like girls are fairly liberal, since most conservatives aren't so into ladies loving ladies unless they get to watch.So I'm meeting this girl for coffee in DC. She seems cute and sweet and funny. She told me that she works for a think tank in Dupont, which is true of like 70% of the queer girls I know.
We are having a great conversation about weird s**t our families do, and I mention that my mom is trying to learn how to use twitter.
She mentions that she, in her spare time, runs a twitter account where she sends hate tweets and angry memes to democratic politicians and their supporters. Ya know, just for fun! She couldn't understand why I didn't think this was funny.
There was no second date.
Image credits: peaceoutshortie
#51
Started speaking to this guy on Tinder a few months ago. He seemed alright, but not my normal type. Regardless, we started speaking for a couple of days. I didn't realise how stupid I was until now, but I mentioned where I worked.The night I mentioned my workplace, I saw a guy walk past that looked a lot like him. I hadn't met him in person so I wasn't 100%. I forgot about it and a couple of days later, it was quiet in work but my phone battery was low. I said I'd speak to him later before my phone died. Que him coming in 10 minutes later with a f***ing iPhone charger. Yes, this might have been a nice gesture if you know, I'd actually met him face to face before.
This was really weird because he said he lived the other side of the city from where I work. I wanted to cut ties straight away, but I thought I'd return the charger after I finished work.
He said he would be in a bar around the corner, so when I finished I met up with him, gave him his charger and made some excuse to go home. To my horror, I saw on his Instagram that he'd taken a smiling selfie earlier in the day with the caption 'I'm now a taken man ;)'. I'd seen him like not even twice.
To make it even scarier, for a good few weeks, every time I'd finish work I would see him casually walking past on his own, exactly at the time I finished. Really creeped me out for a while.
Image credits: yellski_
#52
This couldn't have been asked at a better time.Met a guy on tinder after ending a 6 year relationship. He was in his last year of PT school and seemed to have his s**t together and was really cool. I made it extremely clear that I was in no hurry to rush into a relationship and that I wanted to take my time get to know him better.We ended up dating some months later. Everything was great. I was actually really happy with him and was going to take him home for Christmas (we had been together about 6 mo at this point). Last Monday, I got a facebook message from a random girl. She basically said she matched with my BF on tinder and found his Facebook account. She noticed that his Facebook noted that he was in a relationship with me, so she messaged me to see if we were in a relationship since they had plans for a date that week. She sent me screenshots of all of their conversations. Bless this little Tinder angel's heart for messaging me. Confront BF, go through phone (not like me), find extremely graphic sexual texts between him and at least 2 other girls besides tinder girl. BF says he was so insecure and worried that I didn't want to be with him that he wanted this false security. Broke up with him.
Got drinks with Tinder girl, we're friends now.
Image credits: amilliphillips
#53
I decided to go on a date with a guy older than my usual age range because he seemed interesting. I show up to the restaurant and my immediate thought is "Oh my god he's too old for me." He proceeds to spend the rest of the date exuding arrogance and telling me about how he makes so much money and he's well on his way to being a millionaire, etc. And no, the restaurant was nothing fancy. All the while he is talking as well, his sport coat sleeves are getting ALLLL in his guacamole. I did not say anything. At the end he walks me to my car and hugs me. I do the squirmiest escape because I am mortified he will try to kiss me. He gets into his car and immediately texts me how he had such a great time. I wait to say I did not feel like we had chemistry when I get home. He then proceeds to blow me up saying how could I pass up such a catch (a man who is tall, handsome, and rich) and how can you even know if you have chemistry from one date. Good riddance.#54
My Tinder story is nothing as horrifying as some of the others, but nonetheless some of you may get a laugh out of it. January 2013 I started using Tinder for the first time, matched with a girl I new that was in the year above me at the high school I went to. She invited me over on the Saturday night as she had the house to her self. As the weekend rolled by I began feeling unwell onn the Thursday, but I was going through a bit of a dry spell at the time so I just thought "f**k it, toughen up". Saturday night I was at hers we went out for dinner, I didn't eat much (said I wasn't hungry) went back to hers. At this point I was sweating bullets, had the worst stomach cramps. I asked where the toilet was and made a dash to it and began vomiting, came out the toilet whiter then a ghost, she freaks, I'm shaking uncontrollably for some unknown reason. She called an ambulance thinking I had food poisoning, turns out I had appendicitis and my appendix had ruptured. Spent the next 10 days in hospital.#55
Went on a tinder date and as we are walking to get drinks she tells me (not asks, mind you) "you are going to walk me to my car." I say "ok.." And then she says "I have a taser" and pulls it out and turns it on. I assume in order to make sure I didn't try any funny business? Regardless, at that point I told her it was nice to meet her, but I didn't want to continue and said goodnight.#56
My first tinder date was interesting. We went for curry at some Japanese restaurant, went for a walk in the park, I bought some macarons. It went well enough to warrant a date to the fair, and that went well enough to get her to come over to my place.So, we decided the best thing to do was play guitar, make homemade egg rolls and watch Napoleon Dynamite. The egg rolls went over well, and we got the movie going on. We eat up, I set away the dishes and I take my seat next to her, trying to get closer and closer. Eventually we're next to each other and I slowly start leaning onto her shoulder, which she pointed out. I scoot away taking it that she didn't want to be so close, to which she says "yeah that's right, just go all the way over there away from me". Jokingly, I agree and decided to throw the covers that were on the bed behind us, between us. Unfortunately, I forgot we played with the guitar and I decided to put the guitar on the bed. At that point the guitar fell with the covers and hit her on the head.
We've been a couple for 3 months now.
#57
I'm 23. Not realizing how old I actually am and still feeling like I just got out of high school (though I just graduated college), I decided to bump my age limit down to 18 to see who was around. I match with some cute chick, we talk for a bit, get set up to go hang out. Find out that even though she's 18, she's in high school and completely stop talking to her. Then she texts me twice saying "Ignore me harder ;)" and stuff weeks later. I felt bad, but also I underestimated how young 18 actually was and realized that 5 years difference at my age just doesn't work.#58
I met this girl on tinder and she actually messaged me first, which was refreshing. We converse over text for a few days before agreeing to meet. We go on a date and everything is crazy good, I feel more chemistry with this girl than I have felt with anyone else ever. A few dates later and she tells me she feels the same way. We finally end up having sex and it's more than either of us could ask for. Best sex either of us have ever had. A month and a half of going on dates later and it gets to a point for both of us where the ambiguity is becoming a problem. I ask her out "officially", she declines, and disappears from my life without really filling me in as to why, although I have a pretty good idea it was about commitment issues and being afraid of a relationship. Whatever, I'm crushed, but that's pretty normal. We're in our early 20s and s**t like this happens.The horror part? The chemistry was so crazy for me that meeting her has essentially ruined my want to see other people 4 months later. Everyone just seems so uninteresting, but at the same time I hate being alone. I honestly have no idea how to get out of this rut, and it's more emotionally horrifying that anything else I've been through.
#59
I'm an average looking guy, looking for an average girl.It was my first time tindering, my friends had literally downloaded it on my phone that day. I'm swiping and I see this girl I thought was cute. Nothing crazy, she looks like someone I'd be friends with.
We started talking, and started texting. It was crazy how much we clicked, we both had somewhat obscure interests and hobbies: fencing, improv, frequent the same weird dive bars in our neighborhood.
We finally scheduled a date.
I met her at a bar we both talked about. Was extremely crowded last night to the point where it was hard to find anyone. I had a hard time finding her, then I hear "euler4!" I turn around and she wasn't what I expected. I had gotten catfished.
She was this 5'10", fit, and really attractive blonde. I could see how it could be her in the photo, but it was an ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE PHOTO OF HER.
Why was this a horror story? I guess I was the terrible date in this situation. She wasn't what I expected and the entire time I just thought, wow, this girl is way too hot for me, why is she here, to the point where I ruined everything. I couldn't talk normally to her.
#60
Not exactly a horror story but why I have permanently deleted the app. I first downloaded Tinder my freshman year of college. Like most freshmen, I didn't really know anyone and I am super awkward when it comes to talking to guys in person. All my friends had one and it just seemed like the thing to do, even if I wasn't serious about hooking up with anyone. Anyway, spring semester rolled around and I matched with a guy that seemed super interesting, I thought we really hit it off. After a couple days of texting and sending paragraphs to each other he asked me to go on a date. He comes to pick me up for our date and he is everything I expect him to be. Just a normal guy, right? Since I met him an Tinder and I went to the university, we didn't have any mutual friends, so everything I knew about him he had told me. He told me he had just moved back to my town after a hard break-up and was taking a semester off of school before he transferred to my university, blah, blah, blah. I was nieve at the time but in my defense I also took my time getting my know this guy. After seeing him for almost a month, he wants to start dating - so we did. For five months. That's when I slowly start to realize he's a pathological liar. I spent five months getting to know this person and everything I learn about him is a lie. He told me was a junior majoring in marketing and he was going to transfer to my school the next semester, turns out the son of a b***h never attended college a day in his life. He would tell me all these stories about this internship he had and about his professors and classes he took, it goes on forever, all of it was stuff he made up. He would go as far to research things just to add to his stories. He also lied about why moved to town. He lied about how he knew his roommate. He lied about where he went to high school. He lied about his childhood dog. He lied about literally everything. I wasted five months getting to know a complete stranger. This is why I will never use Tinder again, because I refuse to ever date anyone that I don't have mutual friends with.#61
I met this really cool girl. We talked and joked around on tinder for a while before meeting up on campus. We met up ate and had a good time before I walked her back to her dorm. Went on a couple more dates before she said that she had a boyfriend.#62
We'd been chatting on Tinder and then eventually texting on and off for months and finally one night I got drunk enough to ask her if she wanted to have a "movie night" and she agreed. We ended up watching a few episodes of It's Always Sunny and then banging like rabbits after an opening nudie seen in the movie we put on. Fast forward to two weeks later and she is coming over 3-4 times a week after Uni to just chill or make f**k or whatever. One day she came over unannounced whilst I was still in the middle of a game of Counter-Strike (usually i make sure any game i play finishes by the time she finishes uni to avoid this) Now at this point she doesn't really know that I play games as whenever she comes over i'm usually expecting her and we do things together like watch a show or practice baby making. I immediately get up to let her in and I think to myself "f**k it, she's a cool chick she's not gonna mind me finishing off a few more rounds at all" so when she asks me what I was doing I simply tell her "Not much was just playing a game" and she responds "Oh thats cool, keep playing i've gotta do some stuff on my laptop for awhile " So thinking that i've struck gold with the go-ahead I get right back into it, but I noticed some wandering eyes over my shoulder and began to play really nervously and badly. "You suck" "Aw why did you die?" "Kill him kill that guy!" "You should totally give me a shot" so I give in and get up out of my seat at the end of the round. I try telling her what the buttons are and where to go but she completely ignores me but buys all the correct items and heads to the A-bombsite on de_mirage. She crouch jumps up onto a box and then onto the balcony of palace perfectly and lands an incredibly tight pop flash into Palace and peeks it and kills two enemies rushing it. She pulls back out of palace and trade kills an enemy who had pushed out of main and onto tetris. Mind you this was at Supreme-Global level. The round ends and she gets up and goes back to her laptop smiling. I was stunned. She left after about an hour and then later that night sent me a message saying that she really wishes me the best but she wants to see other people.#63
Once upon a time I matched with a girl whose bio said, "Sucker for cheesy jokes! ?." So I thought I would lay this classic baby on her, "How much does a polar bear weigh?" I guess we had a different sense of humor because her response was a little bit colder than the Ice that innocent polar bear was standing on; "Enough to break the Ice dumbass." WELL ALRIGHTY THEN#64
So I matched with this guy who seemed very sweet and flirtatious in his messages. I had realized that tinder was a hook up app, but I was potentially looking for more. One day we made plans that he was going to come over and hang out with me(I assumed it was a "Netflix and Chill" sort of deal). He came to my apartment and I was taken aback at how he did not look anything like his pictures. Like, anything at all. Anyway, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, being the nice girl that I am. I showed him around and finally we hit my room. Things seemed pretty abnormal as tinder standards have been for me in the past, laying on the bed, he made no effort to even chat me up like he had over our messages. We kissed a few times and one thing lead to another and I went down on him(mind you, he did not return the favor). Afterwords, I offered him a sandwich, as I was pretty hungry so why not be polite and offer? He said he had to run to his car and grab his phone charger but couldn't find his keys. He made the show of searching my entire apartment for his keys, went outside to find them, came back in and said he was going to call a locksmith company to unlock his car because he said he had a spare set. He leaves to make the phone call and I enjoyed my lunch while I waited. And waited. And waited. He never came back to my apartment. Checked tinder and saw that he unmatched me. Classy, right?#65
We discussed tattoos and he told me, dead seriously that he wanted the satanic symbol as his next tattoo. He showed me a pic and I was like hmmm ok. I asked where. Where you ask? The SHAFT of his penis. He was not joking.#66
I went on a date with a guy... it was pretty decent, he was an engineer, pretty nerdy. He asked me on a second date, where he said he was going to make dinner for me. He makes jerk chicken, which is literally so spicy that it is inedible. I could not eat even one bite of this food. I guess the guy was nervous or something, because he wolfs down 3 huge plates of this jerk chicken in under 5 minutes. I have never seen anything like it. He didn't even talk to me, he just shoveled food into his face. Then about 10 minutes later, he has to go to the bathroom. He is in there for about 20 minutes. He comes back out and I can see that he is super sick. He is sweating, his eyes are watering, and he reeks of s**t. He makes it for about 5 more minutes before he has to go back to the bathroom. He went to the bathroom 7 times while I was there. The WORST part of this though was for the 2 hours I was there (most of which he spent in the bathroom) he made me watch Georgia Tech football. I hate football and I tried to change the channel, but when he would come back out of the bathroom, he would put it back on "the game". After this he texted me for about a month periodically to ask what I was wearing to bed. Even though I didn't answer he would just keep texting. I finally had to tell him explicitly to f**k off.#67
Not me but happened to a friend - Went out on a first date with a guy she met on Tinder. He seemed normal enough and she was open to another date. About a week after the first date he texts her a photo he drew of her that sure enough looked like her and was a copy of one of her photos on tinder except..... he drew her with a wooden leg (she does NOT have a wooden leg). And then when looking closer he had written "#1 proctologist" and "bum" in hidden places in the drawing (she is not a proctologist).#68
Had a girl who came to my work to meet me... No.No.No. I was a server in a private room so I was out of sight for the majority of the night but when I came out and she wanted to meet me I noped back into the room.She also used the distance feature to know where I was at. And when I overslept for work an hour away she noticed I was still in Raleigh and not in Goldsboro where I was suppose to be.
#69
Matched with a girl, and she was quite pretty in the face. All of her pictures were mostly of just her face/upper body, but I didn't pay any mind. She initiated the conversation, and she was immediately in to hooking up, so of course I invited her over. She gets there and I answer the door, and turns out she was about 6'5". I am 5'8" on a good day. I let out an audible "Holy S**t" and she picked me up and carried me to the bedroom like a baby. No regrets.#70
Got a Tinder notification on my phone...realized I don't have Tinder and was holding my girlfriends phone.#71
I matched this pretty cute looking girl. She didn't look like she was in super great shape but she didn't look obese or anything. Well, we exchange numbers and I called her. She agreed to come over to my house so I waited outside while she found her way over. She pulls up in a super badass car so I'm like hell yeah. When she gets out, it looked like her suspension let out a sigh of relief. She was at least 300 pounds. Nice girl though, she gave me a back massage then I told her I was tired afterwards and she left.#72
We had everything sorted out for the night but it started raining so it all got wet and starting a fire was very difficult.#73
I went on a number of Tinder dates this fall after I moved to a new area. Met this guy, pretty cute, we go out for drinks, and many drinks later he convinces me to sleep at his place since it was way closer to my job than my place. Even after we deliberately talked about not having sex since it was a first date, we end up having sex. Two weeks later .. positive pregnancy test. He doesn't believe me, doesn't believe he's the father (even though there's no way it could be anyone else), and doesn't really want to talk to me about it at all. Sometimes he'll text me and ask for money though. He's a real winner. I'm 12 weeks pregnant now .. planning on keeping the baby.#74
This happened over the weekend and I'm still processing it.I (24 M) used tinder once before and met a cool chick and it didn't work out so I decided to try again, what could go wrong right?
So after a few days of using tinder, I stopped launching the app but left my profile active, so I kept getting a few matches. Well one night my friends and I decide to go bar hopping in a pretty well popular area because why not?
We're all pretty smashed at a bar, and I'm wearing the same sweater in my profile picture. Apparently some girl I matched with sent me a few messages (I checked it was 10 within a 2 hour period) and I never responded. She recognizes me and starts yelling at me! Mind you I didn't have any idea what was going on as I'm drunk off my ass. She's going psycho saying "WTF TheadventuringPanda, why did you never respond to me?!" I responded with "Who are you?". Apparently this drove her nuts. She started yelling combinations of words i've never heard before, then she grabbed my drink and threw it in my face, then security came and threw us both out on our asses. She then followed my buddies and I to the car and is yelling and screaming still. While we were driving off she threw her shoe at the car. My buddies were laughing the entire time. I think i'm just gonna stay inside for the rest of my life.
#75
The only Tinder story in which I have met someone goes as follows:Get a mutual like. Fairly pretty girl, some of her teeth are crooked, but I'm not judging. We talk a little bit, exchange phone numbers, and talk a little more. I've just moved from out of state, I haven't made any friends, and I'm missing my once a week trip to the bar for beer and wings, not to mention getting properly tipsy or drunk once a month or so. So, we decide to hang out and have a few drinks at her house, no biggie, I've done this before with other people without a problem.
I get to said home, and she's started without me. She's double fisting: vodka in one hand, coke in the other to chase it down. We talk a moment, then she says she wants to go outside so she can smoke. No worries, I'd prefer that so the house doesn't reek of cigarettes. She proceeds to chain a few cigs, then we go back inside, all the while she is consuming vodka and I am refilling for her while we chat.
She continues to drink, and wants to go outside every twenty minutes or so to smoke a cigarette or three. Just when she's starting to get really drunk, her son wakes up (I didn't even know she had kids). He is autistic, and she asks me to tell him to go back to bed so she can finish her cigarette. I go in and have a chat with him, he's had a bad dream. Mom comes in and puts on a Scooby Doo movie that he likes a lot. At this point she is stumbling and slurring most of her words. She has started talking about this guy she's really pissed at because he wasn't interested in pursuing anything beyond friends with benefits.
Throughout the whole night she has boasted about being a plus sized model and the success of her career and how terrible people are about telling her she needs to lose weight. She is adamant that they should all go to hell and that she is absolutely stunning and can have any man in the world she chooses. I've gotten extremely uncomfortable at this point and would like to leave, but she is so f***ed up I would feel irresponsible leaving the child and don't think of simple solutions like calling family services in the moment.
I watch Scooby Doo with junior while mom continues to ramble on about her f***ed up life and everyone should love her and be attracted to her, repeatedly asking why people are so rude to her and why no one listens to her. She insists that I listen more than anyone she's met because I'm an Aquarius. No one else will listen to an Aries. She's smoked the whole pack of cigarettes by this point, and is complaining that she does not have any more. She then proceeds to shuffle through multiple CDs, tossing the ones that are too scratched to play onto the floor and cussing out her TV for not playing them. She breaks two while trying to get them to work.
Eventually, she starts to sober up, and is asking me to go and buy her more cigarettes. I explain that I don't have any money (an honest response at the time), and tell her that I am sorry and that I will have to leave, I just wanted to make sure she was sober enough to take care of her kid. She asks me to take a gift card and go to a local grocery store to purchase cigarettes, and I let her know (after quickly checking my phone) that they will not be open for another two hours and I have to leave to get some rest before I go to work.
The next morning, she messages me on Facebook and asks how bad things were. I explain kindly, but let her know things did get a little out of hand. She says, "OMFG... I suck balls. So many balls," then proceeds to block me on Facebook. That is the last I ever heard of the only model I've ever met in person.
#76
My Tinder horror story is very funny looking back.The girl comes over. She couldn't get there until 7:30ish. I had some pizza warming in the oven just in case she was hungry. For some stupid reason, I put the pizza in the box to warm in the oven (it was a real pizza from a pizza place).
She wasn't hungry, so we jump right into making out. Clothes get strewn. We head back towards the bedroom. I go into the kitchen and turn the oven off, but leave the pizza in there.
A few minutes later, I am going down on her and I hear a beeping. I lift up my head and say "what was that?"... She says" I think it was a truck backing up". I hop up just to check in the oven. Without my glasses on, I had accidentally missed "off" by an 8th of an inch and my s**tty oven went to broil...The beeping was telling me it was preheated :(
I stupidly open the oven and smoke comes billowing out. Then the box bursts into flames. I am standing there butt naked and I start yelling "F**K F**K OH S**T". Then she comes running in totally naked as I pull the box out thinking I am going to pour water on it (It was stressful I don't know what I was thinking). I set it on the stove and then she hits it with a dish towel. Sparks and burnt s**t go all over my kitchen but the box is still on fire. My sink is so full of s**t that I can't get the box in there.
She yells "Bathtub" so I pick up a GODDAMN BURNING BOX and run to my bathroom over the carpet, my shower mat and past the shower curtain (all very flammable). The entire top of the pizza box was either in flames or charred and flaking off as I ran.
Remember, we are both totally naked this whole time. So imagine a naked, screaming man running through his s***ty apartment with a burning pizza box in his hands. That was me. This was a date.
I throw the box in the bathtub and turn the shower on.
She was so super cool about it. She helped me clean everything up, and then we got dressed and just stood outside for awhile. She could tell I was really freaked out, and kept reassuring me all was well.
I still have burn marks in my bathtub and on my bathroom door.
#77
Matched with a guy and we messaged back and forth a few days before meeting up at a concert. I actually had a great time, thought he was really cute, and definitely was feeling good about the whole thing. He was about 9 years older than me, but a very clean cut looking guy, total gentleman, and a chef at a local higher-end restaurant. He invited me back to his place after the show, and I agreed because...well, I liked the guy! Since he lived pretty close to the venue I told him I'd just follow him back. That's when he said he didn't own a car, or drive (apparently he walked there). That didn't seem like a huge red flag at first so I gave him a ride back to his place and ended up going inside with him. He casually mentioned on the way up the steps to his apartment that he didn't expect company so he apologized for not cleaning up better. Yeah, sure, that's something we all say because we left a dish in the sink by accident, right? No big. But I was not prepared for what I was about to walk into...The front door opened into his kitchen where there were HEAPS on garbage and dirty dishes covering the table, the counters, and the sink. There was also dirty laundry strewn all around on the floor. Piles of it. I'm talking hoarder style. The only light was coming from the hallway behind me but I could already tell I'd made a huge mistake. It reeked like cat piss and rotting food. As he ushered me hurriedly through the kitchen to his bedroom I found out my nightmare was only just beginning. He flipped on the light switch to his room and...I s**t you not...I saw the cockroaches scatter. Well, some of them anyway. The others didn't care and swarmed around his cat's food bowl which he'd left sitting in the middle of the floor (poor animal). The place was a goddamn pigsty. Trash and everything just strewn about. He told me to have a seat on his bed, aka a mattress on the floor completely covered in cat hair. As I did, this guy just goes for it! He whips his shirt right off to reveal pierced nipples and the worst gigantic tribal chest piece tattoo. It looks almost like he drew it on with a sharpie, but I can tell it's real. Now, I have tattoos and piercings myself, but for some reason his just made me want to vomit. I'm too grossed out to even set my purse on the floor and so I'm sitting there clutching it tightly to my chest. He puts some movie on before sitting down next to me and he starts trying to make moves. At this point I'm looking for an escape plan and FAST. I apologize, tell him some bull**it about being tired and work in the morning and I book it the hell out of there. He continued to text me and call me a couple times but he did actually get the hint fairly quickly.
I later found out through the grapevine that apparently that guy had been fired from him previous job for breaking in and attempting to steal all the liquor during a snow storm. The kicker is I ran into him a few months later at another concert where he was drunkenly dancing alone up at the front before knocking over a microphone stand. Then he came up and introduced himself to my boyfriend in a very, "oh you MUST have heard about me" kind of way. Truly one of the most bizarre human beings I'd ever met and a real tinder nightmare.
#78
Met this girl on tinder, invited her into bed. She accepts, comes over, we have fantastic sex, a lot. Same thing the next night. Thing is, she's moving to Montana in a few weeks for a job. A cook position in a national park. She invites me out there, I look into the job and eventually get it. We decide to start dating (met twice, known her for a month, I'm an idiot) to keep it exclusive at adult summer camp there in Montana. I get out there, she freaks out and breaks up with me because she has cancer, cancels the breakup, does it again the next night, I agree and say it's over. Proceeds to cock block me constantly throughout the summer and we scream at each other in the kitchen. Poor choices all around.#79
This didn't actually come about through Tinder, but rather through an equivalent app. So, I meet the guy there and he's just incredible. Clever, good-looking, funny... You get the type. The only catch is that he doesn't live in my city. After a couple of weeks of messaging and phone calls, we decide to meet up and we settle on that I would be going to him because I'd never been to his city and that seemed like a fun little adventure. Right? WRONG. The big day comes and I embark on the 2.5-hour train journey and I get all excited and I can't wait to get off the train - and then he's not at the platform when I get off. Try to call him to no avail and after four hours of waiting, I decide to take the next train back home. Haven't heard from him since.#80
Started talking to this girl, she was pretty skimpy with texting. Guess she had graduated college and was working while working on her masters.One night were texting back and forth and I ask her if she was still doing home work. She didn't respond so before I went to bed I said "guess so, good night!"
Anywho the next day she texts me how I'm way too intense, and that her master's program was way more important than responding to me. I asserted that it wasn't that big of a deal that she didn't respond and that I was only saying goodnight.
She proceeded to attack me on the grounds that I wouldn't know what it's like to be that busy as I had never gone to college. (I manage a gym full time and work 55+ hour weeks).
I laughed it all off and told her I was comfortable and happy with my career success and wished her luck. She called me crazy and said I needed a psychologist.
#81
ADVICE WELCOME!! So I went on three dates with this dude and we hooked up the last time at his house. Things end with the typical fade away, I was fine with it. We weren't very compatible and I noticed a few minor red flags.6 months later he starts emailing me, obviously looking for a reenactment of our summer fling. When I turned down his advances, he sends me a screen shot of myself, in his bedroom, while we were hooking up, half a year ago.
So obviously this douche nozzle filmed us without my consent. I reported it to the police and now, almost a year after I filed the report, I have to testify against the creep. I have no legal rep except the state's "victim advocate" who only seems to have experience with DV cases.
Has anyone else been through something like this? I can't find a way to report him via tinder (I deleted my account a looong time ago). My biggest concern is that he's still out there being a creep to other ladies on tinder...
#82
Went out with a girl, and had a great time together. I only knew her first name. We were texting later that night after our date and I told her to add me on Snapchat and gave her my username. She added me and up popped a request from FirstnameLastname. Her Lastname being my mom's VERY RARE maiden name. She was my second cousin.We clarified things briefly and never spoke again.
#83
I asked a girl I liked out to a concert and offered for her to bring a friend because my sister had given me six tickets she received for working at the venue. She brought a tinder date. Needless to say I was pretty bummed out.#84
Went on a date with shy armenian girl, new to town didn't know anyone. No big deal I'm friendly.She's shy and to loosen up she starts drinking.... but she doesn't stop she's tiny too maybe 95 pounds 5'1". So after awhile she is just plastered. Dancing on the table tops. I want to leave her but I'm not a scummy guy and it doesn't feel safe. She ends up wanting to bar hop so we do. I convince her not to drink anymore.
She starts making out with random guys. Is she their problem now? No she still has me escorting her around. Makes out with a bar tender etc. Now we make it to a new spot she's making out with a guy full on and I run into my ex with her current boyfriend.
Yeah my date was making out with her boyfriends Rugby teammate... I ended up awkwardly hanging out with my ex while my "date" left with the teammate. She ran into me again days later and was very embarrassed.
The end.
#85
My friend, bless her heart, she's got so many Tinder stories. Once a guy wanted to bring his mom on the first date. Another bragged about stealing money from his kid sister's piggy bank, and yet my friend still had to pay for his dinner. Another was a guy on house arrest (there's clue #1 right there) who, after a few times hanging out, turned into a total monster and would not stop harassing her and basically verbally abusing her. She ended up blocking him. I love her, but I worry about her sometimes.#86
First date, tells me I've already ruined the night because I chose to sit on the bar side of the restaurant. Second date, she got us kicked out of my favorite restaurant for yelling at 2 guys wearing Pats jerseys. Not a pats fan, don't really care. But I don't have enough time for me to get a to-go box for my favorite appetizer, their fries with 4 sauces. 2 weeks go by, calls crying because I didn't call her on my birthday. I agree to a post-birthday lunch date. Tell her I'm not interested in continuing seeing her, she runs to to the bathroom crying (this is date 3, don't even know her last name). I take a bit of her sandwich. Pay for the lunch, walk home. This is 1 of 3 awful tinder experiences, I'm not sure I'm ready to try again.#87
I started taking to this really attractive mid-30 guy. Seemed pretty cool, but he had this idea that women were supposed to be at home, in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant... I'm not that kinda gal. But I figured whatever, maybe he's just joking. So we talk for a few weeks and then he invites himself over to my place. He gets to my place... The picture on his profile had to have been at least 5 years old. He was a lot larger and a lot grayer than his picture. But again, I thought whatever. We go up to my room and we're sitting on my bed talking. He than casually drops "I've raped women before" on me, like it's nothing. Then proceeds to push me onto the bed, face in the mattress, full weight on top of me, taking these huge deep breaths of me, apparently. Then he starts telling me about some of the women he's r*ped and how they really liked it and would come back for me. Wtf man?!? I kicked his a** out. Not today Satan..#88
Met a guy who was shorter than me (hard to do at 5'0), seemed like a nice (if somewhat grampa-like) guy. We went to sushi and he had some quirks which I didn't really notice at the time, so we went back to my place to drink a little with my friends. At this point, I began to notice his odd habit of looking me directly in the eyes, fluttering his lashes, and saying, "Hmmmm" like he was purring or something.Then he tried to get me to walk into a completely dark foresty area (I go to UC Santa Cruz) and I was sober enough to realize that was not a good idea, so I tried to get us to walk back. He then hugged me and says, "it's so nice to feel your touch."
I noped right on out of that one.